Parents, quick!!! Send back your Bumbo Seat, your high chair, stroller, the wood floors in your house, and while you’re at it… the carpet, your changing table, replace your stairs with a slide – or, better yet, install a lift but be sure to include a helmet and safety pads for all riders.
So, your 9-month old falls out of a Bumbo Seat and fractures his skull. Where was the Bumbo Seat? On top of the table you say? What is wrong with you?? And, you’re blaming the company for this misstep?
I’m beyond words. Honestly.
“Honey, little Johnny fell out of his Bumbo seat. Quick… call the company and sue! They owe us a college education. And, while you’re at it, call the company that installed our floors. They should be liable too for not installing springs under the flooring to help prevent serious injuries when babies fall. And, dammit, call God’s people too. Why on earth did he make babies that fall and get hurt. That’s just a faulty product in my opinion. Recall on all babies!!”
Our son, James, recently ended up with a mild concussion. And, guess what. We didn’t sue anyone! Nope, not a soul. Why? Because we, his parents, took responsibility. He was playing with Daddy on the floor, took a tumble, and hit his head. Did we feel bad? Sure. Do I feel bad for the little guy that tumbled out of his Bumbo and fractured his skull? Of course!! To his parents… lovely way to waste our justice system’s resources. Way to go.
And, to Stella Liebeck, the woman who sued McDonald’s over hot coffee spilling in her lap back in 1992, damn you! I’m pretty confident that you were an instigator in America’s obsession with frivolous lawsuits. It’s coffee. IT’S HOT!!!
So, be prepared people. Pretty soon, your Starbucks will come with a 10-page how-to and babies will be delivered with a 200g hard drive, full of instructions and warnings. Ouch.