Bladder Negotiations

Heidi is stirred awake by the dog meandering in the middle of the night, approximately 12:30am.

BLADDER: Let’s go to the bathroom… come on, come on, you lazy human!

HEIDI: FINE!!  But, only because I’ve still got a good night’s sleep ahead of me.

Both Heidi and Bladder roll out of bed (literally), and stumble to the bathroom in the darkness, take care of their “business”, and crawl back into bed.

HEIDI: There.  Are you happy now?  Can I PLEASE go back to sleep?

BLADDER: Yes, of course, my sweet little vessel.

Hours go by.  The dog, once again, awakens Heidi barking at the paper boy.  It’s now 4:30am.

BLADDER: Ok, one more time.  Get your a** up!  Come on, let’s go.  Heave ho, lady!

HEIDI: Oh, come on!  I’ve only got 1 1/2 hours of sleep left.  Can’t you wait, you impatient little imbecile?

BLADDER: You wanna play that way?  Ok, it’s your choice.  You’re making your bed lady, and you’re gonna have to lie in it.

HEIDI: OK, OK!!  I’m up.

1 comment to Bladder Negotiations

  • Amy

    I LOVE IT!!! Be careful though, with that kind of talk you might get yourself committed!

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