Dear James, Love Elsa

Elsa leashDear James,

Your incessant screaming seems to have died down and you have finally started sleeping through the night again.  Just a quick reminder, my dear Brother…

You are not a screaming banshee.  You are a human being, like me.  Trust me, I know.  Not only do you have a penis (I’ve seen you use it as ammunition on the changing table), banshees are a “female spirit in Gaelic folklore”, according to Merriam-Webster.  Given the penis thing and your recent “tude”, I’m pretty confident that you are 100% boy.

Now, let’s continue this happy-tude.  Any more outbursts and I will wrangle you onto this leash and toss you outside.

That’s it.  I still think you’re the bestest Brother in the whole wide world, I just need a little peace and quiet now and then.  And, while I don’t mind watching your Baby Einstein DVD with you (the only thing that you seem completely enamored with), it’s becoming a bit mundane.  So, get over it.

Love,
Elsa

3 comments to Dear James, Love Elsa

  • Lora Lee

    Love it!

  • Rosanne

    Still laughing! GO ELSA!

  • LOVE this letter. I often think that those are words my children MUST want to say to each other. There are so many moments that you can tell one is clearly irritated with the behavior of the other but can’t express it beyond yelling at them. Kudos for your ability to read their mind and put it in righting. Thanks for the laugh!
    Amanda recently posted..Toilet Paper Bandit

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