Why don’t human babies take care of themselves?

GiraffeThis post comes to you at the request of my so-called friend and accomplice.  Thanks for the inspiration!

Snakes go slithering off in search of food immediately after hatching from their eggs, on their own!

After entering the world with a thud, dropping several feet to the ground from their mother’s wombs, giraffes stand on their own within minutes.

With a little nudging from mom, even baby elephants, weighing 200-300 lbs., manage to get to their feet within minutes after birth, on their own.

Turtles, after hatching from their shells on a warm, sandy beach, immediately head to the water for a swim, on their own.

You’d think that human babies, little versions of what we believe to be the most superior species on the planet, would be able to do something!  Unfortunately, our only predators (the reason for the above animals’ quick responses) aren’t immediate threats – sun, age, stress…

What do you say we breed a large monster that eats humans.  Perhaps our species would eventually evolve with better protective mechanisms that would cause babies to run out of the womb, fix themselves a snack, then run to the toilet to poo.

I’m pretty confident that mother’s everywhere would fully support this.

10 comments to Why don’t human babies take care of themselves?

  • kp

    I’m all for kids being born potty trained and able to fix their own stinkin snacks! But if it means less tiny baby cuddles, count me out. Sorry =P
    kp recently posted..Fill In the Blank Friday

    Heidi Danos Reply:

    Oh, we’ll work in baby cuddles.

  • Lol, I know you have my support. Maybe one day….we can dream, can’t we?

    Heidi Danos Reply:

    Woo hoo!!

  • I personally would hate that. I loved waking up at night with my boys and having that time to cuddle them all to myself. I enjoyed each and every “first” that they had. I would not want them to come out “walking.” Not at all. 🙁

    Heidi Danos Reply:

    You’re welcome to come and wake up with mine. I enjoy cuddling, but not at 3am.

  • Oh man, then I’d be out of a job .)

    Stopping in from SITS to say hi!

    Heidi Danos Reply:

    True, true, but perhaps you’d find a fun, paying job instead. Think of the possibilities. You’d have the time and money to go shoe shopping!

  • Yes but on the flip side if they were that self sufficient imagine how many crazy families we’d have around like the Duggars! Eek!

  • True. Although, in our current predicament, it just takes children longer to get to that point.

    What are they up to now? 20? 21 kids? That’s just plain ridiculous!

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