My Fantastic Mommy Machine

Editor’s note: The following was written by Daddy Danos (a.k.a. Pete).  Admittedly, I procured the post out of pure laziness, knowing I’ve been sorely neglecting this site and not having the energy or creativity to post anything myself.  But, after reading it, I might need to invite Daddy back for more!

Ok.  I have to admit that I am not new to the blogging community (check out the Hate Corner at  However, if you had asked me 3 months ago if I ever thought that I would be expressing my opinions and dare I say “feelings” on the internet, I would have told you that you should know better than to ask me such a ridiculous question.  If you asked me yesterday if I thought I would ever write a post on my wife’s blog (which is great by the way), I probably would have told you, in so many words, that you were crazy.  Then tonight happened and here we are.

Heidi was kind enough to let me go to the Chicago Bears game earlier today with my buddy, Mike.  Because I knew she was being stranded for the day, I put my best foot forward and completed 3 feedings last night (one solo), with each double feeding taking about an hour.  I’d like to take this moment to thank who or whatever is responsible for the creation of this world for not presenting me with any poopy diapers.  In order to get to the Bear’s parking lot for a quick toss of the pigskin accompanied by a couple of hot dog and yes… a few beers, I had to start my morning duties at 6:30 AM.  It was not easy, and I have to say that I was proud to complete the following tasks in record time:

1.  Feed.

2.  Clean 9 bottles.  And, just in case you were wondering how many pieces need to be washed when dealing with 9 bottles, the answer is 45.  If you are a Mom, you know it!

3.  Mix formula for 9 bottles and throw the big batch in the fridge and hope that it settles in time to get them poured.  Formula gets a bit frothy when mixing such a large amount.

4,  Laundry.

5.  Fill bottles and assemble all 45 pieces.

6.  Feed the dog.

Upon returning from the game, Heidi left for a few hours to go to my cousin’s to get a much needed break (if you can call it that) to get some work done.  It was at that moment that I realized how hard she works with these two boogers.  I have had a couple of previous, successful stints with them and thought it was a piece of cake.  This time, they barely stopped crying.  Both threw up on me.  They continued to cry.  They drove me to the point where I called Heidi to see what I should so.  She calmly said, “That happens,” and suggested that they may want a little more food.  I took her advice and it worked.  By the time she came home, they had sort of stopped fussing, but nonetheless, just in time for Mommy to take over and save the day.

1 comment to My Fantastic Mommy Machine

  • Rosanne

    Bravo to you Pete! And now that you are fully trained in, I am sure Heidi will be taking advantage of that! GO HEIDI!
    Lots of love! Rosanne

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