Twins – The Truth: Part 1

So, you get pregnant with twins.  People are like, “Wow, congratulations!” and then they proceed to tell you one of three things: 1) how wonderful parenting is, 2) how their aunt Tillie gave birth in a cab while suffering a cerebral hemorrhage, or 3) “Sleep now”.

The truth?  After the miraculous event, and your children have safely arrived into this slowly disintegrating planet we call earth (ironically, one of only two planets that are not named after a god or goddess in Roman mythology, the other being Uranus, who was actually a Greek god), life as you know it changes.  Drastically!!

  • You will not get any sleep. Duh.  And, no, it’s not because you are constantly checking on the kids in their crib worried about whether or not they are breathing.  That’s the last thing on your mind.  Instead, it’s bottles, pumping, laundry, doctor’s appointments, diapers… then, going to the store to get more diapers, bottles…  When you do have time to sleep, you’ll be out.  Hard.  And, trust me, unless you have a physical or medical reason not to, put the kids in a crib in their own room right away, no bassinets or, god forbid, sleeping with you in bed.  Your sleep – what you can get – will depend on it.  If they really need you, they’ll let you know.
  • You will argue with your significant other. I doubt June Cleaver even escaped post-pregnancy hormones.
  • Despite all your best intentions to keep the kids from invading every aspect of your adult life, they will. The swing that you said would never fit in your living room?  Ha!  You’ve since found a place for the swing, a bouncy seat, and a play mat.  Not to mention, the ever-rotating stack of burp cloths sitting on your coffee table (aptly positioned so you can watch the Food Network at 2:30am to keep yourself awake).
  • Sure, you can take the kids to the store, but in a single trip, don’t expect to purchase more than you can hold in one hand while navigating through the isles with a double stroller.

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