What people DON’T say outloud

Well… in my case, I guess I did. And, allow me to preface this story a tad. I mean no ill will whatsoever. And, I am thoroughly looking forward to being a loving, caring, and tender-hearted mother and caregiver.  Seriously.

Here’s how my morning started.

Accomplice, Accomplice’s Daughter, Innocent Bystander (the Grandmother), and I were leisurely sipping on a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Mind you this is my one caffeine fix for the day (that might help explain some of the following).

The soon-to-be two-year old daughter wanted to draw. Grandma and daughter came across a piece of paper with what looked like a 1st grader’s homework, written by a child we know is homeschooled. After my brain had a few moments to think through the whole homeschooling issue, I blurted out in my typical sarcastic, straight-faced humor, “I can’t wait for my kids to go to school,” (emphasis on the “go to” part). However, I knew, as did Accomplice and Innocent Bystander, that I was really half serious! Accomplice would probably argue that I was more like 80% serious.

This set off a mountain of laughter, proceeded by about 10 minutes of Accomplice and I transforming into a MOMedic (my pathetic play on “comedic”) duo. It went something like this:

Accomplice: You’ll drop your kids off at school and the teacher will look at you like… “Aren’t you a little early?”

Me (to teacher): What? When can I drop them off?

Accomplice (as teacher): Well, it’s 2010 now. You need to wait until 2015.

Me (to teacher): How many hours is that?

Me (calling Accomplice one hour after birth): Uhh… can I drop the kids off for school at your house? The school won’t take them until 2015!! Can you believe it?  Oh, and about potty training… they both get one diaper, then it’s off to the sandbox!

Accomplice: And, control those flailing limbs and get that stuff covered up. And, while you’re at it, put the cover on.

Me: I could always just lock them up in the attic. We have some room up there. It’s full of insulation, but heck, they could use that to keep themselves warm.

This then led to a very sobering conversation about the movie Flowers in the Attic.  Talk about a buzz kill.

1 comment to What people DON’T say outloud

  • […] definitely helped to pull the smell out of the house.  This trick courtesy of my Accomplice from this post. Share […]

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